The Chronic Malcontent
A zine for constructive complaining
A zine for constructive complaining
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| RANTS 1999 |
| There is no point to pretend that this is a quarterly rag. So we'll change the name to the moniker above. And we now go forth gripping reality. So, what could we complain about now? Want to take a wild guess? There's our favorite groupie, Monica; Our millions going to independent counsels; Our representatives overturning our elections to salve their collective consciousness; Our favorite Iraqi leader, wasting our time and our resources. Merry Christmas. ARTICLES Bill, Monica and Ken, the people of the year (arrgh!) Also Part 1 of a thought provoking article by Keith Marlowe, "Are You Ready for Love?" ARTS & LIT First poem - I never thought this poem would be as true now as it was during Desert Storm. Dammit. Then some works by Thom Kellar: Perfect World, Dead Men, and Primer Gray. And finally another seasonal poem a little more hopeful than the first one! Copyright 1998 Sue Klaus ARTICLES Bill, Monica and Ken, the people of the year (arrgh!) Holding a President to a standard... I am starting to wonder why the people in Washington D.C. and the ones who run this country are basically as stupid as they are. To me it seems no surprise that the greater percentage of American people don't want to know anything else about Bill Clinton's personal life. But national leaders are somehow disturbingly different - they're appalled that we don't want to see the videotaped testimony their home, they're amazed that we are disgusted by the Ken Starr report. What I don't understand is, how could so many people forget to the famous biblical precept "thou without sin cast the first stone." Do these politicians and reporters really believe that anyone is perfect? I hate to be the one to tell you this, but there hasn't been a perfect person on this planet since about 2000 years ago. The rest of us are all fallible human beings. There's not one person on this planet that has not done something that they regret. There isn't one soul on this sphere that hasn't done something stupid in their lifetime. Even the Pope is only infallible in matters of religious dogma. So when a Democratic politician is held up as having a low standard of character because of personal indiscretion, it seems that Republican politicians are surprised when their own behavior is brought up in reference. Henry Hyde can blame whoever he wishes that his extra-marital affair three decades ago has come to light again. Dan Burton spills his guts to any member of the press you can find about his extra-marital affair and child born on of wedlock. The rest of us out here in the country know that we are only human beings. We know that we make mistakes. We know we sometimes hurt those who we care about the most. We also know that we still seem to do our jobs even with all this going on. And since this has been in the news lately, are we going to somehow say that Thomas Jefferson was an incompetent just because he had an affair? Are we going to say he wasn't a genius? That he was not a renaissance man? That he wasn't an inventor? I don't think so. Or let's put this in another context. Let's think about the Fortune 500 companies. Are we actually to believe that all of the chief executive officers of all 500 corporations are of high moral fiber? Are we all to assume that these very successful companies with apparently very effective chief officers suffer because maybe their chief officer has had an affair ? If this is the case for the executive officer, is the effectiveness really hampered by the fact that he's a jerk? Or for some people is actually the converse true? Personally, I am sick of hearing about this Clinton problem. Mere months ago we bombed sites in two countries; and yet all our press reported was the Ken Starr report. I am sick of hearing it on the news, I am sick of hearing about Monica, Ken and Bill. Bill Clinton is not the first man to make stupid mistakes. He also will not be the last person to make this stupid a mistake. No matter what a person's position if they make this mistake, they stand to lose more than their jobs. They hurt their families, and they hurt their friends, and really hurt themselves the most. Copyright 1998 Sue Klaus |
Are You "Ready For Love"? (Part 1) North Americans spend millions, if not billions, of dollars every year in pursuit of a satisfying, fulfilling intimate relationship. Yet many fail repeatedly in their quest because they forget the first most important step. They do not determine their own "readiness for love." Whether you are single at present and pursuing, or you are in a relationship that is not as satisfying as you dream it could be, I have a time tested strategy that will work to make you ready for the relationship fulfillment you long to create in your life. These lessons are based upon my own journey into intimacy. They also reflect over 25 years of working in therapy with many brave souls. I have truly enjoyed working with straight and gay couples who have trusted me with their difficulties and shared in the joy of realizing a deeply enriched relationships. My discovery of this strategy began with my work as a therapist of couples whose relationships had endured an affair. I marvelled at the success many, although not most, had in recovering from the trauma of an affair. Literally, they taught me what is required for truly intimate and loving relationships. I have made available freely to those interested a web site that details the stages of recovery to the trauma of an affair. In the past four years, over 200,000 people have passed through this web site "After the Affair." Their journey to recovery is chronicled at this site through a wealth of postings to the discussion forums.. The lessons learned from those courageous souls who faced the skepticism of family and friends and stayed together apply to all relationships. Recovery is only the first step, however. To transform one's relationship into one of bliss, or to create the opportunity to begin a relationship that could be described as blissful, requires concerted effort and the strategies outlined below. Are You Ready For Love? It is often said, that to begin any journey, one must take the first step. No less is true of the romantic journey. Are you willing to take the first step? These strategies require a deeply thought out and honest answer. Each of the four strategies require a willingness on your part to proceed. If you are waiting for a relationship, these strategies will simply not work. If you are willing to create a relationship, then read on. Are you willing to take responsibility for yourself? A seemingly simple question! Yet when faced with life circumstances that are not up to our expectations, we quickly look to blame some one or some thing. Especially in our intimate relationships, blame does not promote the conditions required for problem solving and then resolution and deepened intimacy. Blame always pushes our partner away. We are each responsible for our thoughts, feelings and behaviour. Learning to bring this level of accountability to our relationship is a required step for intimacy. Are You willing to Keep Your agreements? Relationships, especially the one with our intimate partner, depend on "being able to count on my partner." However, we get into very complicated, even impossible, agreements. Take "I'll love you forever." In all honesty, such an agreement is beyond the capacity of anyone I know. I may do my best to be loving all the time, especially to my partner. but I am sometimes quite "unloving" in my behaviour. And certainly quite a bit of the time I think of loving myself above all others. In fact, psychologists point out how essential it is to love ourselves above all others to be emotionally healthy. So agreements need to be based on observable behaviour and time limited. All the rest are intentions. Nothing wrong with intentions, but one must be clear of the difference. If I don't "always" follow through on my intentions, I haven't breached my agreement or integrity. The other advantage of learning to base agreements on behaviour is that there will be increased possibility that the two partners will agree on what actually happened. Many ongoing disputes result from an unclear agreement that results in a dispute on whether the agreement was broken. Keith Marlowe, Reg. MFT http://www.willingspirits.com Copyright 1998 Keith Marlowe |
